You have
privilege.* I hate to break it to you,
but it’s true. I hear you – you’re
saying to me, “but Jennie, I’m a lesbian transwoman of color.” Yes, and I don’t want to discount any of
that… but are you able-bodied? Are you
between the ages of 18-60? Are you
Christian? If you answered yes to any of
those, you still have privilege. Glad we
settled that.
Here’s how
it works:
Basically,
there are a lot of different dimensions by which privilege can be measured.** What I learned in graduate school is that
there are seven:
Sex – male
vs. female
Race – white
vs. any racial minority
Age – prime
of adulthood vs. children or elderly people
Religion – Protestant
vs. any other religion (or lack of religion)
Sexual
Orientation – straight vs. gay or bisexual
Ability
Status – able-bodied vs. disabled
Socioeconomic
Status – middle-class (or higher) vs. those who live in poverty
Although as
I’ve grown and learned and increased my awareness, I’ve found that there are so
many more kinds of privilege than that.
Here are a few, though this list is far from exhaustive:
Gender –
cisgender vs. transgender or non-binary gendered (If these terms are confusing, please see my
article on transgender 101)
Relationship
Orientation – “traditional” vs. polyamorous or kinky
Body Type –
thin or fit vs. overweight or curvy
Legal Status
– United States Citizen vs. those who are not
Language
Ability – English-speaking people vs. those who are not fluent in English
Accent –
standard American accent vs. Southern or other regional accents
And the list
goes on.
*It’s
possible to be in the non-privileged category of every dimension on this list,
but that doesn’t mean you lack privilege.
For example, if you are in a wheelchair but have functional hearing, you
have ability privilege when it comes to ability to hear over someone who is
deaf. Conversely, someone who is deaf
but able-bodied in other ways has privilege by merit of their ability to
ambulate unassisted.
**Please
note that the types of privilege noted in this article refer to those statuses that
are privileged in most parts of the United States. Other cultures, countries, or societies may
have other types of privilege, but as I have limited to no experience with
those places and customs, I am unable to speak to the experiences of people who
live there.
In each of
these categories, there is a dominant or privileged group of people (the first
one listed) and a minority group, which is to say that the group is subjugated,
frequently perceived as inferior, or attributed less credibility, rather than
having anything to do with the percentage of the population in each group. This means that if I am an able-bodied
29-year-old straight white Jewish female from an upper-middle class family (you
know, for example), I am in the dominant groups when it comes to ability
status, age, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic status, but I am in the
non-privileged group when it comes to sex and religion.
Ok. That’s what it means to be in a privileged or
non-privileged group. What are the
implications of this? I’m going to link
you to two other places that describe this much better than I could. The first is a wonderful article recently
written by Matt Maggiacomo called “In Defense of Allies,” in which he describes how by being male, white, and
heterosexual, he is privileged, as well as what he opts to do with that
privilege. I think this speaks to the
experience of privilege beautifully because it’s a great example of a person
not only acknowledging but also taking ownership of their privilege which, as
I’ll discuss later in this article, can be a really hard thing to do.
The other
article that I’m going to link to is a classic list by Peggy McIntosh called “Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack.” The idea is basically that those of us who
are white walk around all the time not thinking about race, but people of color
frequently think about how their ethnic background – pardon the terrible
wordplay – colors their experiences.
That’s what makes it invisible: people with privilege usually don’t even
notice that they lack these things.
Another
thing worth mentioning before moving onto the premise posed in the title of
this article is intersectionality. What
that means is that you can be in multiple non-privileged groups, and that may
affect your ability to feel included in any of those groups. For example, if you’re a lesbian and you’re
in a wheelchair, you might feel discriminated against for your disability when
around other gay people and for being gay when you’re around other disabled
people. If you’re black and Jewish, you
might feel discriminated against because of your skin color when at synagogue
and also because of your religion when you’re around other people of
color. And to add to it, many people fit
into more than two minority categories.
Intersectionality
can lead to people within minorities still having a lot of privilege compared
to other people within that minority. I
was surprised when I started spending a lot of time around gay, lesbian,
bisexual, and transgendered folks to hear people talk about young, slim, white
gay men having a lot of privilege. Then
when I expanded my understanding of the acronym and started spending a lot of
time around that community as well as queer-identified, asexual, intersex,
poly, and kinky folks, I was even more surprised to hear people talking about
how privileged white transmen are. I
wanted to say, “but being transgender is still really hard!” And it absolutely is. But what these categories have that other
LGBTQQIAPK folks lack is a single level of minority status and limited
intersectionality.
Ok, now that
you have a primer about privilege and intersectionality, go back to those lists
of minority categories at the beginning – the traditional list as well as the
items I added – and think about the categories where you’re in the privileged
group as well as those where you’re in the non-privileged group. Most people have some characteristics in each
of these categories. Looking at these
things, how are you feeling?
If you’re
like most people, you probably feel a twinge of guilt. You might even feel defensive, thinking to
yourself, “I don’t have that much privilege!” or “This stuff is blown out of
proportion – we’re all just people!”
Those responses are really, really common, and they also serve a purpose. That purpose is protecting our fragile sense
of justice in the world. It’s just plain
hard to look at ourselves and state, “A big part of what I have achieved and
how I am perceived in life is due to factors beyond my control.” We all like to believe that our
accomplishments are due exclusively to our efforts, but the simple fact of the
matter is that many people’s first impressions of us have to do with these
criteria over which we have no power.
So what can
you do with that feeling of guilt and, more to the point, the ways in which you
possess privilege? I have come up with
four categories of how people often react to being confronted with their
privilege:
1. Ignore
it.
This is what
most of the world does, and I’m going to say, probably controversially, that it
doesn’t make you a bad person if it’s what you choose. Lots of people want to go about their lives
and not think about their privilege.
They might encounter examples of this – for example, information about women receiving less pay
for equal work or unsettling statistics
about violence against transpeople.
And what most of the world does is see this information, think “boy,
that’s terrible,” and then go back to what they’re doing.
The problem
with this: Being ignorant (which has the same root as the word “ignore”) means
you’re going to offend people. If you
choose this option, you’re going to engage in microaggressions and people are going to hear what you say, and
think “boy, what a privileged and unaware white/straight/young/cisgender/etc
person.” While it doesn’t make you a bad
person to ignore your privilege, it does make you a bit irresponsible, so
choose this path carefully.
2. Deny it.
This can
take a few different faces. It can look
like “nah, that privilege stuff is all feminist/liberal/gay agenda/etc mumbo
jumbo! People make too big a deal out of
this stuff.” But it can also look like
“I’m not actually straight – I’m
heteroflexible!” or “I’m not actually
white – I’m Jewish, which is a totally different ethnicity!” (I have been historically guilty of saying
both of these things.)
The problem
with this: Regardless of whether it’s dismissive like the first example or
well-intended like the second example, it negates the lived experiences of
people who legitimately lack your privilege.
I was recently confronted with this idea while claiming to be
heteroflexible, and finally understood something I hadn’t really gotten before
– it is not only my right, but also my responsibility to acknowledge that I am
heterosexual. When I acknowledge this,
it creates a context for people who are LGBTQQIA to exist as a minority group
(or set of minority groups) and helps legitimize their experience of lacking
the privilege that I have. Denying that
I have that privilege is NOT helpful to those who genuinely lack it.
3. Accept
it.
Acknowledge
the privilege you have (basically the opposite of #2) and integrate that into
your idea of yourself. If you’re a
middle-eastern man engaging in a conversation with an authority figure of some
sort, realize that not only are you being perceived as middle-eastern, but also
as a man, which puts you in a more privileged position than a middle-eastern
woman having the same conversation. You
don’t have to go to rallies or advocate for non-privileged groups, but you at
least integrate your privileged categories into your overall sense of self.
The problem
with this: It’s a bit unsettling. If you
have a strong sense of justice or fairness, it’s going to be pretty hard to
stop here. Once you’re aware that you
have privilege and you start looking at that in the mirror, you’ll probably
either run to categories 1 or 2 or you’ll be urged to category 4.
4. Be an
advocate.
Use your
privilege for good. Are you a white
person who is informed about the hardships of being a person of color? Or a straight person who is aware of the
difficulties faced by LGBT people? Spend
time with those groups. Educate
yourself. Let people tell their stories. Read books by authors in these minority
categories. When someone asks you to
talk about this stuff, own your privilege and explain that your perspective is
skewed or biased because of your dominant category status, and point them to a
person who has lived experiences to speak to or a book written by a person in
the non-privileged category. Wield your
privilege to help the voices of those who lack it be heard.
The problem
with this: It’s both exhausting and humbling.
Admitting you don’t have all the answers about something you yourself
haven’t experienced can be an unpleasant thing to do. Plus, being a true ally and speaking up when
someone says ignorant things can be difficult.
It’s also hard to be an ally and an advocate without being constantly
angry, or at least perceived as such.
And sometimes, you have to make a hard call about whether to pick your
battles or speak up in the name of upholding equality in complicated
situations, like with authority figures or clients/customers or parents of your
significant other.
I’m
wondering – for those who have experienced being confronted with their
privilege, are there any other ways you’ve chosen to respond to it? Leave me a comment and let me know!
